Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
