Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize