So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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