Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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