Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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