So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My hand turned me down
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize