Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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