Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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