So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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