Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
