I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
