I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They took my balls.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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