I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
