I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize