Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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