I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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