well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
