all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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