so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
