piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
