My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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