R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
