i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
