Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
