Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
