I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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