did you get engaged???
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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