I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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