I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
