Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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