proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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