I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
