I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
