I wanna passion pit in your ass
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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