there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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