So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
