The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
