So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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