Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont even know how to be here
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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