I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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