my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize