Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
