Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize