I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
