haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
