I faked an abortion last night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
