I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
