I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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