New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
