woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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