oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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