we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
