I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
