Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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