I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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