either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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