Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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