Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
