Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
