So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
