yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
