Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm having to shit out rocks
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