she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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